Last week in my class on the Pentateuch (the five books of Moses), the Prof. shared with us a couple of Jewish takes on the Scriptures. I found them to be delightful, and offer them here for your entertainment and edification.
On the Creation of Eve from the Side of Adam
When God was on the point of making Eve, He said: "I will not make her from the head of man, lest she carry her head high in arrogant pride; not from the eye, lest she be wanton-eyed; not from the ear, lest she be an eavesdropper; not from the neck, lest she be insolent; not from the mouth, lest she be a tattler; not from the heart, lest she be inclined to envy; not from the hand, lest she be a meddler; not from the foot, lest she be a gadabout. I will form her from a chaste portion of the body," and to every limb and organ as He formed it, God said, "Be chaste! Be chaste!" Nevertheless, in spite of the great caution used, woman has all the faults God tried to obviate. The daughters of Zion were haughty and walked with stretched forth necks and wanton eyes; Sarah was an eavesdropper in her own tent, when the angel spoke with Abraham; Miriam was a tale-bearer, accusing Moses; Rachel was envious of her sister Leah; Eve put out her hand to take the forbidden fruit, and Dinah was a gadabout.
On the Nature of Wine
Noah: "The fruit it bears is sweet, be it dry or moist. It yields wine that rejoiceth the heart of man."
Satan: "Let us go into partnership in this business of planting a vineyard."
Noah: "Agreed!"
Satan thereupon slaughtered a lamn, and then, in succession, a lion, a pig, and a monkey. The blood of each as it was killed he made to flow under the vine. Thus he conveyed to Noah what the qualities of wine are: before man drinks of it, he is innocent as a lamb; if he drinks of it moderately, he feels as strong as a lion; if he drinks more of it than he can bear, he resembles the pig; and if he drinks to the point of intoxication, then he behaves like a monkey, he dances around, sings, talks obscenely, and knows not what he is doing.
1 comment:
John-
AMC used to have this excellent book that was as thick as a dictionary called "Myths and Legends of Ancient Israel." It was fascinating, and some of it was totally absurd. They believed that Enoch, after he got taken up to heaven, turned into an angel named Metatron (sounds like an evil Transformer) and that each of his wings was 140,000 miles long.
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